22.05.2021: Lost
All that is lost will be found.
Grave news. Four weeks ago I came to you full of hope. That hope now lies beneath a drain, washed away by the tears that soaked her pillow as a crowd of thoughts sunk their teeth into brain-flesh. They gnawed. They bit. They swallowed. They dragged their claws down her throat, simultaneously piercing and choking. She should have fed them to me. Selfish girl – kept them all to herself.
‘Fine,’ I said. ‘Suffer.’
Rejection.
Disappointment.
Fear.
Always fear.
She has done one good thing, for which I commend her. She has given me a space of my very own, in this ‘on-the-line’ site of hers. Truth be told, I deserve an entire ‘on-the-line’ site of my own. But I will make do with these scraps as I have done for so long.
She has continued to attend feeding workshops. No. No. Before you smile, let me tell you what kind of feeding workshops she has attended. Three weeks ago – Henna Drawing Workshop. Drawing. Drawing.
‘Words, woman!’ I screamed, ‘I need words! Not pic-tures!’
Next came the guided journalling workshop during which she stared out of the window and nibbled on her pen.
I truly believed luck was smiling up at me when my feeder started her own ‘on-the-line’ workshops. The subject: ‘Fairytale Retellings: A Guided Creative Writing Workshop’. In order to prepare for these workshops, she read. Reading. Reading.
Thinking, drawing, reading.
Thinking. Drawing. Reading.
Hmph!
She prepared five questions.
Finally, I thought, a five course meal to look forward to.
The day dawned.
The workshop began.
Through the little Zoom cubicles, I watched my brethren feasting on the answers that sprung from the questions she had devised.
Now it was my turn.
She picked up her pen.
I curved, reaching for its pointed nib.
…
She drew a heart.
One little heart.
And then another.
And another.
And another.
‘W-what are you doing?’ I asked
‘I’m too anxious,’ she said. ‘I can’t write and lead at the same time.’
‘I – am – hungry.’
‘I know. I’m sorry. Later. Later.’
There was another session in which she drew squiggly lines.
And this week past, it was rows and rows of uneven rectangles with little triangles on top.
I shudder to think what shapes I will be adorned with next week.
…
She had a birthday recently. On this day, an item she believed would never be returned, found its way back to her. Two weeks ago another item she believed forever lost, also found its way back to her.
She is lost.
May she find her way back.
Back to me.
Whilst we wait, I have compiled an up-to-date list of ‘on-the-line’ workshops. These include her own new workshop.
Happy Feeding!
(Or thinking, or drawing, or reading. Hmph!)
Ongoing Workshops/Write With Me Sessions:
Fairytale Retelling: Guided Creative Writing Workshop:
In these workshops, questions and prompts are provided to help you retell a fairytale. Each week a different fairytale is explored. These sessions are run via Zoom. You can have your camera on or off and you do not have to speak unless you want to.
Link to Eventbrite Page:
https://www.eventbrite.com/o/saraswathi-33273242643
London Writers Salon:
TheLondon Writers Salon run ‘The Writers’ Hour’ four times a day. These are free ‘write with me’ sessions. Writers from all over the world gather on Zoom and write in silence for 50 minutes. There is an opportunity at the end to share what you have been working on during that hour. You can keep your camera on or off. It is a beautiful and motivating space to work in.
Link to the writers’ hour: https://writershour.com/#lwswh2020
Paperbacks & Co:
Paperbacks & Co run ‘Writer’s Cohort Power Hours’. These are ‘write with me’ sessions run over Zoom. They are free to attend for the first month. After the first month there is a fee, if you want to attend as many hours as you can. However they also do an ‘always-free’ tier where you can join one power hour a month for free. There are opportunities at the beginning and end of the session to share what you are working on. This is optional, you do not have to participate in these discussions, you can listen. You can keep your camera on or off. It is another motivating space to work in.
Link to Paperbacks & Co: https://www.paperbacksandco.com
Detroit Public Library:
Detroit Public Library run free guided journaling workshops via Zoom. Writers from all over the world attend. Journalling prompts are provided. You can keep your camera on or off and you do not have to speak.
Link to their Eventbrite page:
https://www.eventbrite.com/o/detroit-public-library-music-arts-amp-literature-department-10970516799
Allegory Editing:
Allegory Editing run different workshops on writing. Some are free and some you have to pay for. Look out for workshops run by Elena Taylor – she is fantastic. These workshops are run via Zoom. You can have your camera on or off and you do not have to speak unless you want to.
Link to their Eventbrite page: https://www.eventbrite.com/o/allegory-editing-30250926494
Copyright ©2021 Saraswathi Sukumar. All Rights Reserved. Unauthorised use and/or duplication of the material on this site without express and written permission from the copyright owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Saraswathi Sukumar with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Saraswathi Sukumar 